Control and essentials🎮⏲
Why autopilot mode is not reliable and how to get more done
January 19, 2025
Hello, Dear Reader!
Being on autopilot and letting life just happen to you is one sure way to regret the day while you’re trying to go to bed. You eat whatever you want with no form of control, secretly hating yourself but still eating to feel something. That is no different from the alcoholic who drinks to get drunk or the addict who keeps on smoking that joint until it hits.
Control is something we all desire intrinsically. Control over all aspects of life is something everyone strives for. Research shows that employees who have more control over their work are more productive, satisfied, and engaged. This is because they feel more valued, supported, and in control of their lives.
But why does control seem so lucrative yet bitter in action? The answer to that is self-accountability and responsibility. In general, being responsible sucks, and that is why adulthood gets a bad rap. Because there will probably be a lot of responsibilities once adulthood hits. The core reason why children and teenagers are promoted to live their youth is to enjoy life while you can then bear on responsibility, untrained.
I’m not an adult yet, so I can’t say much on how the experience will actually be. But judging by the things that the world and adults around me say, it looks that way.
The historically useful and accurate analogy that I have found is a potential antidote in order to not dread control and responsibility and simultaneously living a healthy amount of “youth life,” as the general consensus puts it; it is the analogy that comes from Epictetus.
“Remember that you must behave as at a banquet. Is anything brought around to you? Put out your hand and take a moderate share. Does it pass you? Do not stop it. Is it not come yet? Do not yearn in desire towards it, but wait till it reaches you. Do this, and you will some time or other be worthy to feast with the gods.” -Epictetus
Avoid the autopilot answer. Let’s try to go about stuff intentionally. Because, oddly, control is something that everyone wants. But it cannot be obtained by accident.
Just the Essentials
On the internet, where all lives seem so optimal and perfect. It has skewed expectations of everyone. Those college application reels are absolutely crazy. They will have done the craziest stuff but still get rejected from top schools. Those kinds of reels increase your expectations in an unsustainable way.
Sure, that ambition is amazing, and I am also a product of it, but those fast-paced videos don’t cater to everyone’s story. Because fundamentally, everyone has different kinds of sh*t they’re going through. You don’t know what all Ivy League accepted students had to face before he/she got it. And they don’t know what you have had to face.
That is why just getting the essentials right is something universal and the thing that matters to win at the end. The 80/20 principle is a direct representation of it. 80% of the output that actually matters comes from the 20% input. Doubling down on the 20% and really focusing on getting those right is something we should all strive for.
Sure, those cold showers—meditation has it’s place and is beneficial. But just doing those and removing effort from your 20% (studying/business) isn’t really going to help you on a broader spectrum.
In general, start placing the big rocks in the jar first (the 20% activities that yield the shit you want), then place the small rocks (the 80% that reap 20% of the rewards) later. Then only, all the rocks will fit in the jar!